Memories
by SapphireOceans
Summary: "Dad may be gone, but I feel like he's still here with me..."CROSSING OF INGO SPOILERS! Song: Memories by Within Temptation


**CROSSING OF INGO SPOILERS!**

**I hope the lyrics are right, because I've had to do them from memory. Please review.**

**Song: Memories by Within Temptation**

**Love Sapphy**

**xxx**

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><p><strong>Memories<strong>

_In this world you tried not leaving me alone behind,_

_There's no other way, I prayed to the Gods: "Let him stay"._

The rocks are smooth and cold under my hands. I stare out to sea, perched on the top of the cliff, my dark hair blowing around my face. The soft hiss of the sea, the smelt of salt...all of them speak to me of Ingo. And Ingo reminds me of dad. My dad, who left us. I thought I'd hate him for that, like Conor once did. But I don't. I used to pray for him to come home, not to leave us alone. But I forgive him now. Because I know he didn't want to leave.

_The memories ease the pain inside,_

_Now I know why_

It hurts to know that he's not coming back. I close my eyes and think of all the things we did together. The Midsummer Bonfire, going fishing, roasting the fish over fires on the beach, going out in _The Peggy Gordon_, Dad showing me the photographs he'd taken. I remember how he laughed at the expression on my face when he told me he was going to set that picture of me into the dresser.

"_Not one for the limelight, are you Saph?"_

I find myself laughing, and immediately feel guilty. I shouldn't be able to laugh. Not when my father's dead. But remembering makes me feel better.

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_In silent moments imagine you here._

I can remember his smile, the way his eyes crinkled around the corners, the way when he laughed, you couldn't help but to join in. I can remember the way the pub went silent whenever he began to sing. A good, strong voice, that's what they all said about him. Conor told me that I had a voice like dads. If my voice is even half as good as his I'll be happy.

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_Your silent whispers, silent tears_

It's funny, but when I think about him, it's almost like he's here with me. I remember mum once telling me that when my grandmother died, she felt her nearby, felt her touch her face like she used to when she was younger. And when I think about dad, I almost expect to see him sitting next to me.

_Made me promise I'd try to find my way back in this life_

_I hope there is a way to give me a sign you're okay._

He'd want me to be happy. He'd want me to live my life. Whether in Ingo or on land. He'd just want me to be happy. I hope that if there is a heaven or whatever, he'd happy there. I know the mer go to Limina to die, but I don't know what happens afterwards. Do the mer have their own heaven? Or do they think life simply stops? I don't believe the latter. I can't.

_Remind me again it's worth it all_

_So I can go on_

Dad has taught me something. I can't let my life stop. I have to keep living. I saw what happened to mum when dad left us the first time. She shut down. I won't. I promise myself that. I will keep living for Dad.

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_In silent moments imagine you here._

I can see how upset Conor is. He's taking Dad's death badly. Really badly. He feels guilty; guilty for hating Dad for so long. I think he feels that if he'd taken down Ervys then he wouldn't have killed Dad. That he could have stopped Dad dying. _No one could have prevented it Conor. There was nothing you can do. I hope you know that._

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_Your silent whispers, silent tears_

I need to speak to Conor. I need him to stop him hating himself. I need him to know that Dad is still with us.

_Together in all these memoires,_

_I see your smile_

He's everywhere. I can see Dad whenever Conor smiles; they have the same lips. Every time I look in the mirror I can see his dark eyes looking back at me. Every time I sing I can hear the echo of his voice in mine. And echo of that rich, strong tenor in a clear soprano.

_All the memories I hold dear,_

_Darling you know I'll love you 'till the end of time._

I'll treasure every moment of my life, every beat of my heart, every breath I take because I know that Dad helped give them to me. And I'll always love him for that, always love him for being there when I needed him, and, just maybe, I love him for being unable to let his other child grow up without a father.

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_In silent moments imagine you here._

We're half of him. I am half Dad and half Mum. So is Conor. We are both two halves of two different people joined to make a new person. So how can Dad be gone? He will never be gone. He is half of me and half of Conor, and as long as we live then he is still here. And when we have children of our own, a part of Dad will live inside them too, and in their children, and in theirs. My maths teacher showed us a graph once. It was curved, two curving lines diagonally opposite to each other on either side of the graph. She said that because the equation is 1 over X, the lines will never reach zero. It goes on for eternity. It is infinite. Dad is like that. He will be here for eternity, because _he_ is infinite too, and his blood will always flow in our veins and the veins of our decedents. So why should I be sad? I wipe my tears away. Dad is not gone. Dad will never be gone.

_All of my memories keep you near;_

_Your silent whispers, silent tears_

He will never leave us again. Every time I look out to sea, I'll see him, laughing, out in the _Peggy Gordon_, and if I strain my ears hard enough, I might catch a breath of song on the wind.

_All of my memories_

_I wish I was away in Ingo..._

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><p><strong>I started writing this fic ages ago, and never got around to finishing it until now! I really hope you liked it! PLEASE review, I'll really, really appreciate it! And I promise that there is another High Tides chapter coming very soon! I have quite a few days off after my I.T GCSE tomorrow, so hopefully I should write more then! I hope you liked it, and do look up the song, because it is GORGEOUS!<strong>

**Thank you for reading!**

**Sapphy**

**xxx**


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